iLike Freestyle

Just something for my UCI friends. Let's do this shit! :)

Hello 2009

Alas, 2009 is here.
And with it, I'm expecting plenty of good times, changes, and lessons to learn :)

Looking back on 2008 and all the events that took place in the past year, I think it was a pretty good chapter in my life.. particularly the second half of the year. College had a lot to do with that.

Highlight of 2008?
Graduating. Four years of fun, heartbreak, mischief, and knowledge all summed up with a silly oversized gown and a cardboard hat accompanied with plenty of tears, hugs, and big smiles. Just the way I had imagined it.. :P Sitting there with people I'd spent four years with, I realized that there's a really big world out there. Each and everyone of those Savanna seniors were going somewhere for better or worse. Some were going far and some were staying close to home. It hit me that this little world that I built and tried to perfect for four years was going to be ripped open and scattered everywhere and I was scared. But after the ceremony and ten long minutes of fighting off chaotic crowds of proud parents (which just made me even more scared), I found my friends and I felt safe. And I understood at that moment I had no reason to be scared. My real friends were going to be there for me after everything, especially after surviving mobs of parents :P I'm very thankful for those who have stayed in my life after graduation. Life after high school shows you who your real friends are and although I've lost a few.. I'm glad I have the ones I do now.
Not only was graduation a highlight in that aspect.. It also marked the beginning of a new chapter of my life. I've met so many great people at Irvine. I forgot that there are actually genuine people in the world rather than the same old superficial teenagers I ran into during high school. I'm really thankful for those friends as well.. They make me feel like I belong somewhere and I'm glad they can put up with me.. :P

Worst of 2008?
Wasting my time with people who didn't give a damn about me. Particularly one person, whom I gave my all too and I got shut out and ignored. I guess for good reason, but it hurt. I'm glad it happened though.. I was only being chained down by something that was bringing me misery everyday I was still involved with it.
I'm not too proud of the way I acted at the beginning of 2008 either. I took a lot of things for granted and wasn't very mature about certain situations. I guess you can only learn from the mistakes you've made in the past..

And a year later..

I woke up and looked in the mirror.. and first of all, I didn't look my best, but I'm pretty satisfied with that person in the mirror. I'm not perfect, but I'm happy. Two years ago, I wasn't so proud of myself or my decisions.

2009 is going to be different.
Here's to a great new year! :)


ASIAN. OUT.

In My World

Adorable, right!? :)
Horton Hears A Who is an epic movie in my opinion. One of the better movies I've seen in my lifetime for more than one reason. I recommend it to people of all ages.

Dr. Seuss was a GENIUS :)

Anyway, I haven't blogged for a while. I've been enjoying my break too much, thus no blogs! But here I am with time to spare and a mind whirling with thoughts. I'm actually going to talk about my day (or days in this case) for once.. although my life isn't all that interesting. I think most people would agree.

So Christmas was great this year! My family is amazingly fun to hang out with, even if they're a bit too much sometimes. My secret santa, aka my sister, didn't get me anything because she was lazy. LAME. However, I went out and bought some clothes the next day and told her she can pay me back for them later. I fixed that up pretty quickly :P

I tried my best this year to get each of my friends something. I made little goodie bags and baked my own sugar cookies. It seemed like everyone liked them.. either that or they were lying to protect my baking insecurities. I like to think they actually liked them :)
I thought it was pretty lame giving my friends little goodie bags and a card. It just didn't seem like enough, but one of my friends told me it made him feel better. He's been feeling down with everything that's been going on and when I dropped it off, he had a big smile on his face. This sounds lame, but it made me all warm and happy inside when he told me that. I underestimate the value of the little things in life.

Other than Christmas, I've just been hanging out with the boyfriend and with my best friends. Great times with the best friends. I miss hanging out with them. I forgot about all the fun and stupid things we talk about. I think I'll do a better job of keeping in touch with them next quarter. I'm still working on that balancing act. Its showing some improvement :)

I've also been learning a new song, thanks to JHo. It's getting better with more practice :) SOON it will be the most epic thing you will ever hear from me! Not really, but it'll be slightly pleasing to the ear.

So I've been fretting over my capacity to think. Don't get me wrong I think, but sometimes I just don't really think about things. There are people I know who amaze me with the depth of their thought. These people are inspiring. I was reading something earlier in the week about the capacity to think and how to deepen and build that capacity. At first I thought, "that's kind of crazy," but it's rather simple: practice.. you just sit and think. Goodness gracious.. It never occured to me :P

Basically what I'm trying to say is that this blogging thing is really going to help me out with building stamina and depth in my thinking. If I just sit and think about things in my life and the world around me for half an hour or so, it may just help me sort some things out in my life. Although I do think interacting with other people and asking for their prespective on things will be helpful as well. It never hurts to listen and understand different views and prespectives in the world.

Am I making any sense? Sometimes I think things that only make sense to me.. I'm strange that way :)

Well, I think that's it for today.. 2009 here I come! :)

Happy New Years!

ASIAN. OUT.

Jump for Joy

Inspired by an inspirational person, I ask myself:
Why do I jump for joy?

Let me show you :D

Endings that Create Beautiful Beginnings


Wonderful Smiles


Delicious Food :)


Beautiful Places


My Loving Family



My Boyfriend's Warm Heart


Art


Technology


Friends...

Old


And New




Those are some things that make me jump for joy...

What makes YOU jump for joy? :)


ASIAN. OUT.

We Might As Well Be Strangers

No matter how hard I try, I'm bound to lose someone in the process of this whole growing up thing.

I can't find balance.

When I find peace with one person, war starts up with another. Well, not necessarily war, but there's a disturbance of some sort. And as hard as I try, I can't find peace with everyone at the same time. If it's not my best friends, it's my boyfriend. And if it's not them, it's someone else. I don't think I'm capable of ever finding balance in my life. Between new friends, old friends, family, and school.. there's no time to think and organize my thoughts. There's only time in the middle of the night when I'm on the brink of consciousness that I get time to really think about anything.. and it's only for a moment before I slip past reality into another world.

And today, even when I'm surrounded by great people who breathe life into me, I feel alone. All because one friend, one very important friend, decided I'm not worthy of his friendship anymore without any warning. I guess it's mostly my fault for not taking the time to call or even leave him a message, but I thought we would be stronger than this.

Life is unpredictable.
It sucks.. almost as much as tetris.

Pictures of You

To this day, I still remember that phone call I got. I remember where I was, what I thought when I saw "Mommy" on my cell phone, and the thoughts reeling through my head after I hung up the phone.

It was a sad night.

In fact, there's been plenty of sad days and nights since then. I think of him and I lie awake with my pillow soaked in tears. Two years later.. It's not any different.

My grandma asks me to sleepover sometimes because she gets lonely without him. I feel bad when I can't, but when I'm over babysitting Jayson or Warren, I do. I wish I could make her feel better, but no one can take his place in her life.. or in anyone's life for that matter. I guess time is the about the only thing that can really heal people, we just don't have enough of it sometimes.

But I hope that my grandpa lived a great life with the time that he had. I regret not ever really sitting down and asking him about his life. It was after he was gone that I discovered so many things about his life and his history. I learned so much from him when he was alive and I continue to learn from him now. I've learned that asking questions is the only way to get to know people and to understand their views and their life.

I work hard now more than ever because I want people to have more time to ask those questions or have the chance answer them. Life doesn't wait. Don't be afraid to ask. The clock is ticking..

12.09.06
I love you, Grandpa.

Tetris

So lately.. I've been playing tetris (thanks to Randy, Katie and JHo). It's a way to pass time when I get bored of studying. Anyone who knows me knows that I absolutely cannot play tetris for shit.
Honestly, I don't know why (it's pathetic, I know). I'm always the first one out in a game of tetris. I start off fine, but then the game gets faster and faster and I can't process the shapes and where it'll fit in time. It all just piles up and then I lose.
Lately.. that's how I've been feeling about life. Everything was going perfectly fine and I was putting all the blocks in the right place and now it's all piling up. I can't think fast enough when all these blocks just keep flying down from God knows where. I think when finals are over.. I'll just start a new level of tetris and try again. Maybe I'll figure out a different way to play the game.

Speaking of finals... I should keep studying :)

Til next time,
ASIAN. OUT.