Lessons Learned

There have been countless lessons that I've learned in my 21 years of life.

Sometimes, I learn lessons too late.
At that point, apologizing is the right thing to do and, the very least, what the person deserves. But most of the time people don't want to listen because getting hurt leaves behind scars that remind them of bad memories and it's not so easy to open up again.  I know because I've been there, but I've learned to forgive and let go.

I guess I'm just tired of wanting to apologize.  I should actually do it.  Face to face. To those I've hurt, if they'll let me, that is, because I know that there are times when apologies just aren't enough for the magnitude of pain that's been inflicted.

We'll see where this takes me.




There's mistakes that I have made,
Some chances I just threw away,
Some roads,
I never should've taken,
Been some signs I didn't see,
Hearts that I hurt needlessly,
Some wounds,
That I wish I could have one more chance to mend,
But it don't make no difference,
The past can't be rewritten,
You get the life you're given,
Oh, some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were,
Lessons learned

Starts With Goodbye

I guess it's gonna have to hurt.
I guess I'm gonna have to cry.
And let go of some things I've love
To get to the other side.
I guess it's gonna break me down,
Like falling when you try to fly,
It's sad, but sometimes moving on with the rest of your life,
Starts with goodbye.

The Story of US

I used to think one day we'd tell the story of us,
How we met and the sparks flew instantly,
People would say, "They're the lucky ones."
I used to know my place was a spot next to you,
Now I'm searching the room for an empty seat,
'Cause lately I don't even know what page you're on.

Oh, a simple complication,
Miscommunications lead to fall-out.
So many things that I wish you knew,
So many walls that I can't break through.

Now I'm standing alone in a crowded room and we're not speaking,
And I'm dying to know is it killing you like it's killing me, yeah?
I don't know what to say, since the twist of fate when it all broke down,
And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now.

Next chapter.

How'd we end up this way?
See me nervously pulling at my clothes and trying to look busy,
And you're doing your best to avoid me.
I'm starting to think one day I'll tell the story of us,
How I was losing my mind when I saw you here,
But you held your pride like you should've held me.

Oh, I'm scared to see the ending,
Why are we pretending this is nothing?
I'd tell you I miss you but I don't know how,
I've never heard silence quite this loud.

Now I'm standing alone in a crowded room and we're not speaking,
And I'm dying to know is it killing you like it's killing me, yeah?
I don't know what to say, since the twist of fate when it all broke down,
And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now.

This is looking like a contest,
Of who can act like they care less,
But I liked it better when you were on my side.
The battle's in your hands now,
But I would lay my armor down
If you said you'd rather love than fight.
So many things that you wished I knew,
But the story of us might be ending soon.

Now I'm standing alone in a crowded room and we're not speaking,
And I'm dying to know is it killing you like it's killing me, yeah?
I don't know what to say, since the twist of fate when it all broke down,
And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now, now, now.
And we're not speaking,
And I'm dying to know is it killing you like it's killing me, yeah?
I don't know what to say, since the twist of fate 'cause we're going down,
And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now.

The end.



It's like Taylor Swift knows what I'm going through (kind of).

One More Day

Have you heard?
Have you tried to understand?
It's all right..
It gets easier with time,
How are you?
Are you ever coming back?
I have changed.
And I've realized I was wrong.

I was wrong.
Now I'll never see your face anymore,
Oh my love.
I'd give anything for one more day
With you.

I'm getting through,
Wish you felt the way I do.
I have changed, and I've realized I was wrong

I was wrong.
Now I'll never see your face anymore.
Oh my love
I'd give anything for one more day
With you.

I was wrong, I was wrong,
Now I'll never see your face anymore,
Oh my love
I'd do anything, for one more day
With you.

I'd do anything for one more day
I'd give anything for one more day

With you.

Dear Bryan,

I wish I didn't miss you like I do.
But I think the friend that I miss is long gone. 
It's time to let that Bryan go. 

I've been holding on to that friendship that I damaged and doing my best to mend it.  But it's broken and you're not there anymore.

I'm not trying to bring back memories or start any drama.
I just want to say goodbye.

So this isn't to the Bryan Burgonio everyone knows now.
This is to the Bryan in those old picture frames.
A beautiful friend I was lucky to have whom I love and care for deeply.
I'm sorry for the things I could have controlled, but didn't.

I'm just sorry.

Maybe I'll see you again someday.

Goodbye dear friend.

Love,
Christina



___________
Sorry to those who still read this.  I don't mean to be dramatic, but I needed to write this.
Thanks.

Stacks

Being alone used to be something I looked forward to, to be able to get away from everything and be with my own thoughts.  Now I can't stand it.

I've forgotten how to love myself and who I am.

The world used to be so full of color in my eyes.. now it's just drab and gray.

Rebuilding

Let's start with this.  An long overdue apology that you probably don't care for and doesn't deserved to be heard.