What a beautiful and stressful period of my life. I have to say I'm not completely proud of all of my choices and the way I've prioritized things, but if I had the opportunity to go back and change anything, I wouldn't.. Mostly because I had a lot of fun despite my downward spiral on the academic side of things, but all I can do now is pick up those broken pieces to fix that aspect of my future. I've got a lot to do this next quarter.
I think the best thing I've learned in these past couple of months is that sometimes you just have to jump into situations and let go of whatever fear you have that's holding you back. Trust me though, it's hard to do. I spent all of last year stressing and making excuses just so I could avoid doing all those things that I was afraid to do. So, I just jumped.. and damn it was a good fall. I feel more connected to people I didn't make time for last year and closer to those I've wanted to be connected to.
But with all those great things there are consequences as well. Firstly, I've slipped academically. It doesn't bother me as much as it should though. The thing is I know I can do well because I've proved to myself that I could.. for the first couple of weeks. I think others can relate. School is a marathon and I'm only good at sprinting. That's definitely got to change. Secondly, there are people I know I've hurt these past couple of weeks and I've just put it in the back of my mind because it easier not to think about it. It's not enough, but I'm sorry to those that I've neglected, hurt, or annoyed. I haven't exactly been mindful of my actions. They've been selfish regardless of whether or not you can understand why. I'm no good at these kinds of confrontational things, but I'm going to try to fix things.
Despite all the ups and downs this quarter, I'm happy and I have several people to thank for that (late Thanksgiving notes).
- My roommates first and formost because they are simply amazing. They put up with my crap and I love them. We laugh and bitch together and it's awesome.. So thanks gals :)
- My friends (old and new). You all know who you are. I'm lucky to have the friends that I do.. quite frankly I don't think I even deserve friends at all :P If I didn't have you guys, I don't know where I'd be right now.. probably crying in a corner.. Most likely.
- Cheerleader. I think you'll only get this reference.. if you read this at all. But yeah, I'm lucky. You're awesome. You make me smile. You know that. Thanks for choosing me :)
- Lastly, my family.. enough said.. They're my family and I love them to death. They make my life so much better after a crappy ass day. <3
Goodnight!
ASIAN. OUT.
CURRENTLY LISTENING TO:
No comments:
Post a Comment