Sitting, Waiting, Wishing

So as of right now, I'm sitting in the library.. "Working" :P

I can't help but think that I'm a real failure sometimes. I mean I know people are going to tell me, "No, Christina, you're not." Then they'll proceed to look at me with a facial expression that implies that I'm being dramatic and just want reassurance that I'm not a complete idiot because I lack self-esteem (I don't actually know who actually does this.. but I imagine that's how it would go down).

That's not it though. I've got plenty self-esteem.. most of the time. I know I've accomplished some good things in my life, but lately I haven't felt the drive and motivation I used to have to push me above and beyond the minimal requirements. I used to want to be the best in every aspect of my life. I had a lot of curiosity and actually enjoyed learning about new things.. with enthusiasm. Now all I want to do is curl up in my warm blanket, watch TV dramas, and sleep. My mind was fried last quarter and I don't know how to cool it down and start over. It's taking a toll on my academics and my social life. This new progression (or rather regression) of my personal evolution is failing.. and I need to fix it.

Work is over.. Time for me to go back to Anaheim.

Asian. Out.

EPIC

Sound of Music Train Station @ Yahoo! Video

Take Time to Realize..

The World is Beautiful.

It's full of beautiful creatures and strong people who find ways to persevere even through the toughest obstacles that most of us probably never have to endure.

Breathe In, Breathe Out

"Keep walking, though there's no place to get to. Don't try and see through the distances. That's not for human beings. Move within, but don't move the way fear makes you move. Today, like every other day, we wake up empty and frightened. Don't open the door to the study and begin reading. Take down a musical instrument. Let the beauty we love be what we do. There are hundreds of ways to kneel and kiss the ground." ~ Rumi.


I just like this video :)

Post Finals

It's Alright Ma (I'm Only Bleeding)

This morning, as I got up to shower, I picked up my shower caddy only have a chunk of my skin sliced off.

There was blood.. And lots of it! :P
But I'm okay, if anyone was worried.

I haven't blogged for a really long time and I feel extremely free right now. This quarter didn't go exactly how I planned it, but I'm just happy that it's over now.
My grades aren't too great, but honestly, I deserve what I got. All those times I chose naps over studying and games over listening in lecture took its toll on me this time. So I'm going to say it and hopefully go through with what I say: I will work hard and more efficiently next quarter.

Haha... that's easier said than done.

So other than school, I recently started teaching the drum major of Magnolia High School. I thought I was done being nervous about performing and making up routines, but then this opportunity made its way to me and I am really enjoying it. I thought being a competitor for four years was exhilarating. The adrenaline and nervousness you get when you're waiting for your cue to start and the accomplished (or disappointed) feeling that runs through your mind and heart after it's all over was always something that I enjoyed.
But being a teacher, a coach, and a mentor is something completely different and somehow at the same time still as exciting and exhilarating as being the one in the uniform. I'm really glad that I took this on this job. It's good pay which is great, but more importantly it's a learning and character building process for me as well. I'm learning about my weaknesses and flaws as a person as well as strengths through every lesson I have. Patience has been one of my stronger points, but at times it was really tested, especially in the beginning. I've also learned I'm a big softie.. Sometimes, you just have to put your foot down to get things done and you have to say "no" when you need to :P
Aside from learning about myself, I hope I've been giving my student adequate advice and coaching. I'm really proud of him after every performance. It's funny watching other people grow and progress and knowing I had just a little bit to do with it makes my heart smile.
I'm extremely proud of my little brother as well. Not only is he doing well with his routine, but he's also teaching others at the same time. He's doing a damn good job at it too :)
And that is why I go home every weekend.. To watch these young talented people bring to life the beautiful art of drum majoring simply because they're worth my time, attention, and dedication.




In other news, I've been neglecting my amazing and incredibly handsome boyfriend, so I'm going to spend most of Spring Break trying to win his love back! :P
He still loves me though... I hope.

Okay last, but not least, I've been playing DRAW MY THING and it's basically a drawing game.. where you draw and people guess the word. Problem is.. I suck at drawing apparently, at least according to Justin... and the whole world. So GUESS WHAT? Just so I can give you guys an opportunity to make fun of me some more, I'm going to post a drawing! :) Maybe every blog.. not sure yet.


But anyways, here's a drawing to end my blog. Enjoy!
Hope you've all been happy and healthy! Have a great spring break! :)

Asian. Out.

4am

And here we go again.